"it" just moved
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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