don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
