on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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