And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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