you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
