Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
