I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
