Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
