he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
