I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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