Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize