he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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