When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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