What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
