Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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