I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
