My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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