Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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