don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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