I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
