so that wasnt chicken after all
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
