Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
