am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
