I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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