Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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