Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
