well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
