he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
