Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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