god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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