Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
