I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
