Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
