You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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