id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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