but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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