"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We just shotgunned beers for America
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
