so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
No subtext here. People are naked.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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