Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
