fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
