All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We don't watch enough power rangers
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
