I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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