Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
