Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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