it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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