No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize