Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
