Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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