i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
