I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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