Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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