every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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