Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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