I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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