hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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