And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
