Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
