I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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